Waterspouts and Tigers
Yesterday afternoon, I saw two waterspouts touch down over Santa Monica Bay, and this morning they shot and killed a 600-pound Bengal tiger that had been living in the foothills north of Los Angeles for almost a month. Strange days, indeed.
About 8 months ago, I was staying in a Marriott in Orange County under bad circumstances. Anyway, the toilet paper in the hotel bathroom was way down at ankle level, so it was awkward to use. And the best part was, the perforations on the toilet paper only went about 3/4 of the way across the sheet. So I'm sitting there bent over trying to tear off a hunk, and the damn thing won't tear all the way off, and it tears up the roll instead of across the roll, and......well, you get the picture. Who invented this cruel toilet paper, anyway? And did they recommend installing it at ankle level?
On January 14, 2005, at about 4:50 a.m. the battery-operated clock on my desk spontaneously started running backwards, and it's been running backwards ever since. The second hand goes backwards, and the minute hand and hour hand go backwards, too. Somehow I think my backwards clock is now holding the universe together, and if I try to mess with it, life as we know it will cease to exist.
When I hear the administration talking about phasing out Social Security (yes, they want to phase it out) and limiting class-action suits against corporations, I can't help but think of my late father whose last years were made easier with the help of Social Security and who died of asbestos-related mesothelioma, one of the many illnesses that now fall under the conservatives' "tort reform." Dammit..
About 8 months ago, I was staying in a Marriott in Orange County under bad circumstances. Anyway, the toilet paper in the hotel bathroom was way down at ankle level, so it was awkward to use. And the best part was, the perforations on the toilet paper only went about 3/4 of the way across the sheet. So I'm sitting there bent over trying to tear off a hunk, and the damn thing won't tear all the way off, and it tears up the roll instead of across the roll, and......well, you get the picture. Who invented this cruel toilet paper, anyway? And did they recommend installing it at ankle level?
On January 14, 2005, at about 4:50 a.m. the battery-operated clock on my desk spontaneously started running backwards, and it's been running backwards ever since. The second hand goes backwards, and the minute hand and hour hand go backwards, too. Somehow I think my backwards clock is now holding the universe together, and if I try to mess with it, life as we know it will cease to exist.
When I hear the administration talking about phasing out Social Security (yes, they want to phase it out) and limiting class-action suits against corporations, I can't help but think of my late father whose last years were made easier with the help of Social Security and who died of asbestos-related mesothelioma, one of the many illnesses that now fall under the conservatives' "tort reform." Dammit..
posted by Shnookylangston at 4:34 PM
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