Mickey's Song
This is the true story of how Mickey got his Rolls-Royce. It's kind of long, so please bear with me. The names have been changed because I always wanted to write something in which I could change the names..
Mickey was born and raised in Los Angeles, the son of a corporate lawyer and a doting mother. Mickey's father did well enough to send Mickey to private schools and ultimately to USC. Mickey loved and idolized his father the corporate lawyer. Here's what Mickey's father did in his spare time: He filed lawsuits. The family would go on vacation or take a cruise, and afterwards Mickey's father would sue the hotel or sue the airline or sue the cruise line for something or other. More often than not, the hotel or airline or cruise line would settle out of court to avoid bad publicity, and Mickey's father would pocket a couple hundred grand for the effort. Mickey really admired his father for this and often said so.
Mickey wanted to get into show business, but he was pretty untalented at anything having to do with show business, so of course he became a manager. He managed some stand-up comedians and actor-types for a while with little or no success. In the meantime, Mickey's beloved father passed away relatively young (in his early 60s), and Mickey became executor of his late father's estate. Eventually, Mickey decided he wanted to manage a sucessful country-western act, though he knew nothing about music, and he hooked up with a cowboy singer-songwriter named Billy. Billy was a real live cowboy who lived in the state of Washington on his dad's ranch and had a little band who traveled about and played Billy's songs, and Mickey became their manager. Along the way, Mickey began drinking a little more than he should have, though not nearly as heavily as lots of people we all know. Mickey spent a lot of his family's money trying to become a big-shot country-western manager and trying to make Billy a star, and there was certainly no shortage of folks who were perfectly willing to take Mickey's money in the process. Mickey bought Billy's band a van, some musical equipment, studio time, and clothing, and he sent those boys out on the road. But no matter how much money he spent, Mickey just couldn't make Billy a country-western star. Part of this was probably because though he was a good singer and songwriter, Billy looked like a cross between Buddy Holly and those Scottish twins called the Proclaimers who "would walk 500 miles just to be the man who....." Anyway, after a year or two, Billy's band broke up, and Billy stayed on by himself in Los Angeles for a while trying to make it as a songwriter and solo act. Realizing he had blown a sizable chunk of his family's money, Mickey decided that instead of admitting defeat, he would just go into alcohol rehab, and he tried to convince everyone that his problem wasn't incompetence and lack of talent but substance abuse. Off Mickey went to Hazelden, and he came back even more insufferable, boring, annoying, and very sober.
Now, the one thing that Billy was really, really good at was yodeling. Billy was as good a yodeler as anyone I've ever heard. While Billy was living in LA on his own trying to make it in show biz, Mickey used to send him out on little studio gigs and promotional cowboy appearances. One day in about 1998 or so, Mickey sent Billy to a studio session where the client needed someone to do some yodeling. The client was a new internet start-up company, and they were looking for a short signature trademark sound, and they thought they'd try some yodeling. Well, Billy went to the little studio and yodeled on tape for about an hour and collected his $300 union scale and gave Mickey his 15% to 20% and pretty much forgot about it.
Fast forward to the 2001 Super Bowl. Mickey's in Los Angeles spending most of his time sponsoring recovering alcoholics and apologizing to his doting mother for spending most of the family's money, and Billy is back on the ranch in Washington. One of the major sponsors of the 2001 Super Bowl turned out to be that little internet start-up company, which was now a very big, very well-known internet company, to whom Billy had supplied an hour's worth of yodels trying to find their signature trademark sound. Lo and behold, while watching that fateful Super Bowl telecast, Mickey realized that that internet company's trademark yodel, that signature Yahoo!, had been yodeled by none other than Billy during that little session three years ago. Mickey's wheels started turning, and before you could say 15% to 20%, Mickey had filed a lawsuit on Billy's behalf for eight million dollars (I believe that was the amount) against that very big and very well-known internet company. To avoid bad publicity, the big, well-known internet company actually settled the lawsuit for close to the requested amount and hired Billy to do promotional appearances, and Mickey got his 15% to 20%. You can do the math.
And that's how Mickey got his Rolls-Royce, even though it's over 30 years old and leaks a bit of oil. Mickey's dad would be proud.
Mickey was born and raised in Los Angeles, the son of a corporate lawyer and a doting mother. Mickey's father did well enough to send Mickey to private schools and ultimately to USC. Mickey loved and idolized his father the corporate lawyer. Here's what Mickey's father did in his spare time: He filed lawsuits. The family would go on vacation or take a cruise, and afterwards Mickey's father would sue the hotel or sue the airline or sue the cruise line for something or other. More often than not, the hotel or airline or cruise line would settle out of court to avoid bad publicity, and Mickey's father would pocket a couple hundred grand for the effort. Mickey really admired his father for this and often said so.
Mickey wanted to get into show business, but he was pretty untalented at anything having to do with show business, so of course he became a manager. He managed some stand-up comedians and actor-types for a while with little or no success. In the meantime, Mickey's beloved father passed away relatively young (in his early 60s), and Mickey became executor of his late father's estate. Eventually, Mickey decided he wanted to manage a sucessful country-western act, though he knew nothing about music, and he hooked up with a cowboy singer-songwriter named Billy. Billy was a real live cowboy who lived in the state of Washington on his dad's ranch and had a little band who traveled about and played Billy's songs, and Mickey became their manager. Along the way, Mickey began drinking a little more than he should have, though not nearly as heavily as lots of people we all know. Mickey spent a lot of his family's money trying to become a big-shot country-western manager and trying to make Billy a star, and there was certainly no shortage of folks who were perfectly willing to take Mickey's money in the process. Mickey bought Billy's band a van, some musical equipment, studio time, and clothing, and he sent those boys out on the road. But no matter how much money he spent, Mickey just couldn't make Billy a country-western star. Part of this was probably because though he was a good singer and songwriter, Billy looked like a cross between Buddy Holly and those Scottish twins called the Proclaimers who "would walk 500 miles just to be the man who....." Anyway, after a year or two, Billy's band broke up, and Billy stayed on by himself in Los Angeles for a while trying to make it as a songwriter and solo act. Realizing he had blown a sizable chunk of his family's money, Mickey decided that instead of admitting defeat, he would just go into alcohol rehab, and he tried to convince everyone that his problem wasn't incompetence and lack of talent but substance abuse. Off Mickey went to Hazelden, and he came back even more insufferable, boring, annoying, and very sober.
Now, the one thing that Billy was really, really good at was yodeling. Billy was as good a yodeler as anyone I've ever heard. While Billy was living in LA on his own trying to make it in show biz, Mickey used to send him out on little studio gigs and promotional cowboy appearances. One day in about 1998 or so, Mickey sent Billy to a studio session where the client needed someone to do some yodeling. The client was a new internet start-up company, and they were looking for a short signature trademark sound, and they thought they'd try some yodeling. Well, Billy went to the little studio and yodeled on tape for about an hour and collected his $300 union scale and gave Mickey his 15% to 20% and pretty much forgot about it.
Fast forward to the 2001 Super Bowl. Mickey's in Los Angeles spending most of his time sponsoring recovering alcoholics and apologizing to his doting mother for spending most of the family's money, and Billy is back on the ranch in Washington. One of the major sponsors of the 2001 Super Bowl turned out to be that little internet start-up company, which was now a very big, very well-known internet company, to whom Billy had supplied an hour's worth of yodels trying to find their signature trademark sound. Lo and behold, while watching that fateful Super Bowl telecast, Mickey realized that that internet company's trademark yodel, that signature Yahoo!, had been yodeled by none other than Billy during that little session three years ago. Mickey's wheels started turning, and before you could say 15% to 20%, Mickey had filed a lawsuit on Billy's behalf for eight million dollars (I believe that was the amount) against that very big and very well-known internet company. To avoid bad publicity, the big, well-known internet company actually settled the lawsuit for close to the requested amount and hired Billy to do promotional appearances, and Mickey got his 15% to 20%. You can do the math.
And that's how Mickey got his Rolls-Royce, even though it's over 30 years old and leaks a bit of oil. Mickey's dad would be proud.
posted by Shnookylangston at 4:40 PM
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