Dear Shnooky

Dear Shnooky:

When I fire my old .22 Marlin lever-action rifle, the shells aren't ejecting when I try to chamber another round. The ejector seems to be lined up properly, and I've cleaned the rifle, but the spent shell won't eject from the rifle. Am I using the wrong ammo? Help!!

Dejectedly,

Old-Timer


Dear Old-Timer:

This may be due to a build-up of powder residue on the bolt face. Some of the residue may have settled between the ejector lever and the bolt, especially if it's an old rifle. This will cause the ejector to lift ever so slightly and not fully engage the rim of the shell. Try using a pipe cleaner with some solvent on it and clean that ejector lever really well. You might try some compressed air, too.

Accurately,

Shnooky

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Dear Shnooky:

I'm a little paunchy right now, and I can't seem to find the right swim suit that will be flattering yet forgiving for my figure this summer. Should I stay with a two-piece? Should I go with high-cut leg openings to make my legs look longer? I feel like an old lady when I try on a one-piece with a little skirt. Help!!

Reubenesquely,

LouAnne


Dear LouAnne:

You're not paunchy; you're just a real woman. If you have a little "pouch-and-roll" going this summer, I'd suggest a cute "tankini" in dark blue or dark green. I'd skip the high-cut legs, dearie. No one over the age of 21 should wear them, and they'll just make your thighs look bigger. Splurge on a nice short, wavy new hair-do, and get yourself a nice wrap-around in a bright floral pattern to complete your new ensemble. And carry yourself like the confident, sexy woman that you are!

Swimmingly,

Shnooky

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Dear Shnooky:

I'm an ER physician, and I'm trying to set a both-bone forearm fracture on a 12-year-old kid, and I'm not sure if I should do an open reduction, internal fixation under general anesthesia or a closed reduction under local. The kid's in a lot of discomfort, so I need an answer soon. Help!!

Emergently,

Doc Rocket


Dear Doc:

First take AP and lateral x-rays and then C-arm fluoroscopy in the OR and check how displaced the fracture is. Consider the closed reduction first, but if the fractured ends don't line up anatomically under fluoro even with a compressive dressing, you'll have to do the ORIF. Try 0.25% Xylocaine with 1:100,000 epinephrine for the local. Be sure to check the capillary refill in the fingers post-procedure.

Clinically,

Shnooky