I Wonder About Stuff

I wonder about...coffee. Cowboys used to drink coffee out on the range, didn't they? I saw it in Dances With Wolves so it has to be true. There's no percolator or Brewmaster or Mr. Coffee out there on the range. What did they do? Did they boil up a pot of water on the campfire and mix in some ground coffee and let it steep and then strain out the grounds? Mmm, that sounds good, doesn't it? Yikes.

And how did people start drinking coffee, anyway? Did someone find or grow some coffee beans and try to eat them raw and say, "Well, this tastes terrible, but I got a buzz. I know! Let's roast 'em, grind 'em up, and make a hot drink out of it."? How do you make that leap? It's hard enough to make a good cup of coffee with a drip coffee maker and some decent commercial ground coffee. How bad did it taste in the old days? And people still kept drinking it? And why do some people still say "expresso"?

I wonder about...gold. Is there something intrinsically valuable about gold that makes it the basis of our currency in the U.S.? Or is it just because it looks pretty? Imagine, an entire system of currency based on something whose value is simply looking pretty. Our currency used to be redeemable for an equal value in gold from the government. I think it was also once redeemable for an equal value in silver. But not any more. What makes a ten-dollar bill worth ten dollars' worth of goods or services? Certainly not the value of the paper and ink. You can't even redeem it for shiny pretty metal any more.

I wonder about...croutons. How did croutons come to be something you put on a salad? I worked in a commercial bakery one summer, and they used to put loaves of old, outdated bread out on the loading dock to dry out and get stale so they could make croutons. Why in the world do we put old, dried-out cubes of stale bread on our salads and call 'em croutons and say, "Boy, I really like these croutons on my nice fresh salad."?

I wonder about stuff...

Bad Mickey

First of all, I'd like to thank all of my readers for their thoughtful and insightful responses to my first annual Reader's Survey. My staff is still analyzing the data, and we'll implement changes to You'll Have This in keeping with your suggestions.

Some days it just pays to read the news. Redux Beverages LLC based in Las Vegas has been selling and marketing an energy drink called "Cocaine." Seriously. Cocaine energy drink, by the way, contains no cocaine but does contain 1,100 mg of caffeine, an amino acid called taurine, something called guarana which is a stimulant from a South American plant, along with vitamins and other ingredients. Redux recently stopped shipping Cocaine and will change the name of the drink after pressure from the FDA and the attorneys general of Texas, Connecticut and Illinois, but they're still fighting for their right to sell Cocaine. Apparently, the FDA thinks that Cocaine energy drink will unfairly cut into the market share of legitimate cocaine distributors or something like that. I don't know which is more ridiculous--the fact that Redux is actually selling a drink called Cocaine or that the FDA and others are trying to stop them.

Researchers at Johns Hopkins have reported in the New England Journal Of Medicine that promiscuous oral sex can carry a higher risk of throat cancer than smoking or excessive alcohol consumption. Here's the official report from the New England Journal and here's a snarky summation from The Register in the UK. I was going to write something clever here, but these guys did it much better than I could.

Hamas-affiliated Palestinian Al Aqsa TV has been featuring a television program with a Mickey Mouse look-alike (the link has been corrected) urging Palestinian children to fight Israel and work for global Islamic domination. When questioned at the Home For Retired Non-Digital Disney Cartoon Characters in Burbank, CA, Minnie Mouse, Pluto, and Goofy had no comment.

Reader Survey

Dear readers, please participate in my first annual Reader Survey to determine direction and possible changes to You'll Have This. Thank you very much.

1. Is this blog a waste of time?

2. Does anyone even read this any more?

3. Should I just stop wracking my brain and feeling bad for not posting regularly?

4. Does this shirt make me look too fat?

Please post your survey responses in the Comments section. Your input is greatly appreciated.

Chad

The country of Chad and neighboring Sudan just signed a reconcilliation agreement pledging to cooperate with the United Nations to help stabilize Sudan's Darfur region and neighboring areas of Chad.

I'm sorry, but every time I see the country of Chad in print, I immediately think of some guy named Chad that everyone went to high school with. Ol' Chad has become pretty important in the world lately. Last I remember, Chad worked at his dad's auto repair shop and was flunking English.

Darfur is obviously a very serious subject, but I just love that the warring militia is called Janjaweed. Also, the president of Chad is named Idriss Deby.

Didn't Chad and Deby go to the prom together?