Guilty TV Pleasures

1. America's Next Top Model. Maybe it's because of Tyra. Maybe it's all the melodrama. I don't know. All I do know is that I find this show strangely compelling.

2. Craft Corner Deathmatch on the Style Network. Indescribably subversive. Great host. Twisted format. Kind of like Iron Chef meets The Apprentice only much more humiliating.

3. The Maury Povich Show, but only when he does paternity tests. Otherwise known as Mybabydontneednodaddy. The best moment in television is when Maury is handed the envelope and says the words, "When it comes to.....you are NOT the father."

4. Real Pro Wrestling on PAX. I just discovered this one. It's collegiate-style wrestling with professional teams representing states of the union; i.e. the Pennsylvania Hammer, the Oklahoma Slam, the Iowa Stalkers (?!),and the New York Outrage. With weight classes and everything. Sweaty mens with bare chests and tight shorts groping each other. And I'm not even gay.

5. Tales Of The Gun on The History Channel. From flintlocks to percussion caps. From Colt .45s to S&W Police Specials. From M1 Garands to Thompson submachine guns. From Colt Model 1911s to Walther P38s. You get the idea.

6. America's Funniest Home Videos. I've loved this show since Bob Saget was the host. I never get tired of talking cats and dogs and people falling on their faces.

7. Women's Pro Beach Volleyball. Self-explanatory.

I only have basic cable, so that leaves out all the premium stuff I have yet to sample. If you have any suggestions, I'm open, dammit.